Intentional Living

It’s early; 9:00am. To be exact. I do my morning ritual: role over to the right to check my phone to see if I got any messages [there’s usually none, it’s a little disheartening], check my social platforms because I’m honest and I know you all do it too, then roll onto my back and take a deep breathe and tell myself “today’s going to be a good day.” It might sound depressing but truthfully, it’s refreshing. I’m bipolar so, any inkling of offset in my heart and mind can really throw my day off. I’m a very intentional being; I purpose to do things and I’ve been doing this for the last year (yes, another recent development in my latter part of my escaping youth).

I wake up intentionally checking on others because I care. I genuinely care and pray for the people I count “close friends and family.” More often than naught, we forget why we do what we do, why it is we feel the way we feel, why we keep or stray away from the things and people near or far to our hearts.

This morning, I was saddened by the fact that an old “close friend” defriended me. [Yes, judge if you may that I let Facebook nip at my heart.] I spent two years valuing this persons friendship, two years investing in him, his interests, his business and work pleasures, and the like. (come to think of it, I spent many years repetitively doing this for one too many people.) And in one instance, he throws me away, like a candy wrapper. I watched this gentlemen struggle, strive, dream, fail, and I stood by him all the way (till of course he took me for granted). I deemed him, “worthy” of my friendship and counted him at one point, my best friend. (Yes, it seems like I have a lot of those, but only one or two have actually reciprocated, and that’s fine. “Can’t win ‘em all.”) We went our separate ways because his dreams didn’t entail any deliberation of what I would have wanted. Hence, our current status of: “Unfriends.”

Long story short, we agreed to stay friends on Facebook because we figured, “we’re cool peeps, maybe we could be friends again when we’re not such douchebags to each other.” I thought that the time to reconcile was nearing, but NEGATIVE! I wake up with denied access to his page, twitter, and blogger. THAT, my friend takes some serious effort to go on EVERY SINGLE social media platform that you utilize and “unfriend” me from all of them. [I just realize, I sound stalkerish, but he’s a musician so I know he appreciated it, especially with all the clientele I sent his way.] But get this, I can see that he greets MY MOTHER, my friends, and even posts things in reference to me here and there. So why the snip snip,dude? raised and furrowed brow.

So I share this with you in hopes that you guys ask yourself today, “Am I that friend that relapsed into acquaintancy? “ If your answer is “yes,” then proceed to ask yourself, “Do I care?” And if the answer is, no, well…then shrug for me and continue on your merry life. At least I gave you your single serving for the day. But if the original answer is, “No, I know I’m not an acquaintance status with my homies” then good job and make sure you seal that deal by sending them smiley faced texts or something. But I urge all of you, LIVE ON PURPOSE. Live knowing that once you’ve invested your life in someone, you can’t recapture those hours to use again on someone else so be real. Real isn’t how you are made, it’s a thing that happens to you. But when you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.

BOOM. Done. Good day.

-Mandypants

[I wish I could write this fast in regards to my 10-page paper that’s due in about 2 hours…lol!]